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And You Should….

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I recently pitched my Page -A-Day calendar.  This particular one was supposed to encourage busy women to live balanced lives.    Instead it seemed to dose  out   reminders about how unhappy I  (or busy women) should be with my (their) choices.  Daily it  carried  admonishments about what I  was (women were)  doing wrong and how the way I (we) lived was depressing and overwhelming.  (Even a female four-star general didn’t escape the invalidation of the calendar writer.   The general was criticized for not having enough militant feminism in the way she acknowledged her family during a speech about her career).   It’s the third calendar that I’ve trashed  this year.   As someone in the message business with an intense job,  I want daily messages that fill my soul and inspire me.   Tomorrow,  a  page-a-day calendar  decorated with flowers is scheduled to arrive.     Flowers are  silent but beautiful reminders that spring is here. It was a lovely spring  day today.   Jean Claude and Roxie spent time outside while I sat  in my big wicker chair trying to gain back spiritual sanity –   lost because I let the shoulds get to me over  my daughter’s decision to  go to her business destination a day early.    My mind went wild with  “I should be doing so and so or I should be doing this…and of course I should remember that if people have plans that don’t include me they don’t want me (a horrible selfish should).”  ” The Shoulds” should be listed as diseases  for the agony and misunderstanding they cause. 

Gradually I found  peace again by  remembering to let  those I love be who they are,  just as a  great power does that for us all on a daily, hourly basis.  So now I am celebrating the peace of this  particular day and the miracle it  holds for me and hundreds of millions of people.  

Just stopped writing for a moment…thinking.. “I should check on Jean Claude, he’s still outside.”  Roxie came in a while ago.”  Sure enough Jean Claude is outside resting comfortably under the big beautiful tree that is in MY  backyard.

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