They say sadness often arrives before change. For some of us it can be a welcome even comforting feeling in that the grief, the denial, the hurt we buried for so long hoping for a different outcome is finally released. With sadness we are set forth in a sea of change. Sometimes it’s change that’s causing the sadness but we have an opportunity. We can become courageous. Change is often for the better. The journey to its creation is sometimes filled with tears, misgiving, regret and then hope, clarity, insight, growth and action.
Category Archives: Spirituality
Loneliness is Something You Do To Yourself
For years I’ve identified as an “I” on the Briggs Myers Personality Scale but I also realize that I’m given to too some self centeredness and a need to be alone. Still, after a brief period of solititude and not welcoming people and places into my life I feel myself coming back. Once again I am reaching out to people and things that I had pushed away or left in the background. The late author Merle Shain was a Canadian author I heard years ago do an interview with Larry King on his radio show . Shain wrote in her book “When Lovers Are Friends ” that loneliness is something you do to yourself. It has taken me years to understand that concept. Lately I’ve watched my married friends more closely. Some really do seem to like each other. Some barely tolerate each other. I watched this weekend as a married friend expressed her loneliness and bitterness in small, hostile ways to those attending a party at my house. I realize it was not my job to save her. She knew better than I…but not enough to take the “I” out of her equation . It seemed to me that that her husband not “acting” right was not the key to her misery but her own inability to love herself. Love is something that must be expressed and revealed to others with no conditions, otherwise it is anything but love. I also realize that folks ought to like each other too in romantic partnerships. Jean Claude and Roxie, a boy and a girl, are the best of friends. They like their alone time and they give each other space to go and grow. They also have different tastes – Jean Claude likes boxes and furry sticks. Roxie likes laser toys and Mariah Carey. Yet they have points of commonality such as filtered water and scratching post boxes. They show affection for each other often but often let each other just be – without judgement or fear of loneliness.
Is it something I Said?
Years ago Richard Pryor recorded an album “Is It Something I Said.” The album cover is a classic and features the comedian tied to the stake in front of a large group of people dressed in hooded robes holding flaming fire stakes.
Very funny and very obvious. Anger is an emotion we all experience. An unpleasant emotion yet a necessary one to expel the poisons that can inflict the soul. There are those who contain their anger as if it is something wrong in expessing it openly. So much hidden anger. As a cook I am aware that even a pot of food on simmer will eventually come to a boil. But there are a lot of flame throwers out there. People say things that are cloaked in thinly diguised rage. The veiled compliment. The query about your weight, height, sex, male friend or work life – with the added “You look tired. ” The poisonous fake concern. I am lucky that there are people (and animals) in my life with healthy dispositions and a sense of self. It is important to surround oneself with TRUE people who express themselves. People who are positive but let you know where you stand with them good or bad. As humans we get on each others nerves but conflict is necessary. Ultimately true friends lift the spirits. Those who care ,whether close friends or business associates, offer more with the candor in their everyday conversation than the curtain of a smile.
Still Here
There are days when one needs inspiration. I think of Marvin Sapp’s “Praise Him in Advance.
Like everybody I think I let people turn me away from a primary mission, love of God, love of self, Love of my fellow human beings and animals. I compare myself to others and then I remember Roxie and Jean Claude who have a sense of who they are in the world. Sure they fight, I think mostly for fun but there is no question they are confident in who they are and their life purpose. Cats are all that.
What Cats Teach Us
Cats teach us a lot. People who don’t like cats tend to say that they don’t like them because they are sneaky or aloof when nothing could be further from the truth. Cats are loving creatures who love those who have shown that they deserve love. Cats are also loyal, knowing who are the people who mean them good. Dogs will cuddle up to anyone who walks in the house. Just like in life, we should be open to allowing new people in our lives, but we shouldn’t let every person who crosses our path into our lives.
For the last three weeks, I’ve had the pleasure of having the cats at my house. It’s been a good journey, complete with Roxie running away, Jean-Claude demanding to go outside and me running out of wet food (a big no no).
I’ve also played with them, combed them and watched them fight and this morning saw the evidence of a pretty big fight downstairs.
Gotta love those cats.
Cats & All That ™ 