While visiting my mom this Mother’s Day weekend, I am in awe at the loving care she provides my younger sister. Sis has MS and needs a lot of help these days. As I write this from my parents’ home, MSNBC blares loudly on the television, although there appears to be in this household, at least a fondness for the “judge” shows, news and information program reigns supreme. Growing up, there were spirited discussions about politics and world events. We taught to be open to other people’s feelings, kindness was premium. While I possess my late father’s temperment to some degree less these days , my mother’s way of thinking and doing balances it– and me — out. Both parents showed my siblings and I that caring and sharing mattered most. They also showed us that getting older requires even more the need to learn and engage in new things. My father pursued his college degree in his late 50s. My mother is champion bridge player and “business” consultant. With embracing the new, I don’t mean just embracing the new technology, social media or different cultural streams although those things can be part of one’s personal expansion. It’s about a desire to learn and to grow internally as well as externally. Last week I witnessed what it’s like to live for years in the world without the will or desire to grow. One can become a zombie in life and principle without loving care and a willing to be open to new and different things. Growing older physically but not mentally and emotionally is imprisonment. A lot of people will never be free.
Category Archives: animals
Beauty Queens
Roxe, A True Beauty
Drama. Drama. Drama. With the event of the “Real Housewives,” “Jerseylicious,” “Basketball Wives” and other similarly themed shows the “so called” real lives of selectly cast Americans are on display for the rest of us to see. Diversions, table turning, eye rolling, hair pulling etc. all under the watchful and intriqued eyes of us. And yes, this passes for entertainment, I admit, I watch but just how real is it all. I’ve met some of the “real housewives,” and “basketball wives,” they have been smart, gracious and glamorous. Like the rest of us they seek validation beyond their exteriors. I remember the hit song “Everyone is Beautiful” in his or her own way. I am blessed to know a lot of beautiful people inside and out and of course Roxie, a true queen.
Know Thyself
Many of you have been following this blog for awhile and so you know the behaviors of the two cats. But one of the things that is interesting is when their behavior goes too far. We all have limits. There are limits between parents and children, work colleagues and limits placed on us by society. With animals, you have to set the limits early and keep reinforcing them. One of the days to do it this is through consistent reward and punishment. You reward behaviors you want and punish those you don’t want. The trick is that if you are punishing a behavior, you have to catch the animal doing it in the act. Unlike humans, cats and dogs have no real memory from an action and a consequence. If your cat jumps on the furniture, you can’t punish her an hour after the fact. Pavlov proved this and it is has been repeated.
So the reason for my long-winded story is that there are certain limits the cats have at each of our houses. For example, Roxie has very rarely peed at Azeena’s house, but she does so at my house with impunity. Window blinds are literally purchased by the multiples at Azeena’s because Jean-Claude breaks them at his grandmothers, but leaves mine alone.
In life the one thing you can control is your behavior. You cannot control others, but you can control yourself. There are times when we all feel like we want to push our limits. Test the waters and see how far we can go. In some cases, this is a good thing – Can I go back to school full-time while working full-time and other times, it’s best left alone.
As a Libra, I spend my life looking for balance between stretching my mind, my self-examination and trying to stay grounded. Like Jean-Claude walking along the fence railing it is a hard act and requires constant attention. But I’m up for the challenge.
Cat Drama
Roxie and Jean Claude are now at CCL’s house on a more permanent basis. I’ve received rather humorous reports of their recent behavior from my daughter CCL. Mornings before she leaves for works the cats are particularly frisky. Jean Claude, the male black Bombay, slips out any open door to freedom, prancing round the hood til he’s ready to come back home. Roxie, the female Japanese bobtail, has once again taken to her sky-diving routine, jumping not once but twice in the last week from the second floor deck of CCL’s house . She landed safely both times in the neighbor’s yard below. Here’s a youtube video where the “Jedi Cat” looks very much like Roxie…hmmn.
Time Passing
I paid a visit to Roxie and Jean Claude today. Last night during a cocktail party at CCL’s house JC came out to greet me, Roxie stayed hidden. Today she came out for a brief spell, let me pet her and then dissappeared into CCL’s bedroom where she rested comfortably on the middle of the bed. Clearly, she has adjusted to her new/old space and it was time. It’s funny about some things in our lives, people come and go. If we are lucky we have people (and animals and a couple of pairs of jeans) that grow with us. Change is inevitable – as is the passing of time. Sometimes one lingers in a spot for a long time, it’s comfortable or it feels like if we give the situation more time there might be some magical transformation. Eventually reality and acceptance steps in. We have waited and it is still the same old, same ole but we have grown and expanded emotionally, mentally and spiritually – and the situation just doesn’t fit. It’s time for new adventures.
Cats & All That ™ 